Just Be Honest

I graduated from university with a computer science degree and no practical experience. I didn’t do any side projects. And never even applied to internships because I was spending all my free time working a pretty sweet merchandising job for Pepsi. At the time, this did not bother me. I really believed I could fake my way through interviews. Looking back, I realize how foolish this notion was.

It might be embellishment, exaggeration, or straight-up lying. For simplicity, I’ll refer to it as lying. And the first thing I must admit is that it will (most likely) work. Job interviews are five hours on the top end. Most of the people you talk to just want to get it over with and get back to their core responsibilities. If you try long enough, you’ll get the right combination of inexperience and indifference in your interviewers to pass off your surface-level knowledge as good enough for the job.

Looking back at some of the answers I’ve given in interviews, it’s so blatantly obvious that I had no idea what I was talking about. Anyone with real experience would be able to call me out on it. Perhaps the interviewers didn’t care, so you’ll be working with a culture of apathy. Or worse, they didn’t know themselves, meaning you’ll be working with subpar talent. Either way, not something you want from your job. Lying will only get you past the blind, but then what? Do you want to be in such a place?

In the career example, it might be worth it. At the end of the day, if you are desperate for a job, then lying your way into one is better than poverty. Especially if you’re able to put in the work to do it once you land it. But for other aspects of life, lying will only build a house of cards that is destined to collapse sooner than you realise.

The number one person you lie to is yourself. I’ll do it later. I can quit any time. I’ll just have one more. If you can’t be honest with yourself, you’re dead on arrival. If you can’t admit that your vice is a vice, you can’t even begin to consider addressing it. If you can’t admit that you’re working a dead-end job, you can’t start looking for a better one. If you can’t admit that the people around you are holding you back, you can’t look for better people.

Admitting to yourself that you’re doing something wrong is excruciating, but also inevitable. The only choice you have is whether you want to realize it now and cut your losses, or wake up in a decade and realize all the time you wasted. There is no running from it. The lie is a dam holding back the consequences of your self-deception. As time goes on, the water accumulates while the dam grows weaker. It is only a matter of time before it bursts. Save yourself the pain and accept the facts now, not just with yourself, but with others as well.

We lie to others for the same reason we lie to ourselves. It’s easier. As social animals, we love telling people what they want to hear. The truth is scary, and it hurts. There’s always a million reasons to lie, but none of them are worth it. The best-case scenario is that the person buys it. Now what? You have to remember the lie if it ever comes up again. If you slip up, you erode their trust. The other case is that they see right through your lie. You might think your story is foolproof. Others might have bought it before. But the more people you tell it to, the higher the likelihood you will tell it to someone who will see right through it. They might call you out on it, but most likely not. Either way, your trust is eroded.

Lying can get you far, but it will be on a shaky foundation. For anything meant to last, the expected value of telling lies is almost certainly not in your favour. Take the leap and be honest with yourself first, and then with others. It will be scary and painful in the moment, but it will be worth it in the end.